THE VIRGIN DEBIAN SUFFERER
packages half a year old
huge modifications from upstream sources to maintain The Debian Way™
documentation insults you for even considering running sid
spend hours of your life processing triggers for man-db...
have to put up with month-long feature freezes every two years
dist-upgrade always ruins everything

THE CHAD ARCH MANIPULATOR
packages are updated with millisecond delay
only three modifications from upstream ever took place and the programmer responsible was hanged
documentation literally sucks your dick as you read it, tfw no arch wiki gf
pacman -Syu is done before you even press enter
no brakes on the update train
nothing ever breaks, ever
has never heard a song in their life